Counseling for adults with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities in Cary, NC

Growing up with Autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, or another disability is tough.

No one told you how much harder things would get after high school.

There isn’t a clear path anymore, and it’s not as obvious what people want or expect from you. Relationships get trickier. It seems everyone else understands what’s going on, but that you’re the odd one out who’s missing something obvious.

If you’re like my clients with disabilities, people may say that you’re rigid, selfish, or uncomfortable to be around. Or they may say nothing at all to you, and leave you feeling isolated. They don’t see how hard you’re trying. They don’t know how much you feel like a failure.

It isn’t your fault

People with intellectual and developmental disabilities are more likely than others to develop anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.

But sometimes its hard for people to see that it’s worries or sadness that’s causing you to act the way you are. Maybe even you aren’t sure if how you’re feeling is because of your disability, or because of something else.

The sad truth is that many people with disabilities face anxiety, depression, and relationship struggles. They don’t know that there’s any other option.

There’s hope

The great news for you is that counseling can help you feel better. There is lots of research to support that counseling is effective for people developmental disabilities.

Every client is unique. But these are some of the reasons that many of my clients with disabilities come to counseling.

Relaxation training

Many people with disabilities fall into the trap of feeling that everything’s bad when one small thing goes wrong. Or, they may be prone to thinking that things can either be all bad or all good, but that there’s no in-between.

Either of these thought patterns can be unhelpful. If you feel constant worry and are convinced that things are hopeless, it’s time for a change.

I help my clients learn mental and physical strategies to relax their minds and bodies in times of stress.

Coping skills development

You may recognize that you’re prone to feeling anxious or depressed in certain situations.

Let’s find meaningful tools and techniques to handle those unwanted feelings.

I work with my clients to find the coping strategies that are the most effective and useful for them.

Mindfulness training

Mindfulness is knowing that your feelings, while powerful, do not control your thoughts and behaviors. It is accepting the feelings that you have while at the same time choosing the behavior that you will respond with.

Mindfulness is a tremendous tool when life becomes necessarily uncomfortable. When you’re waiting for a dentist appointment you’re dreading, or if you’re not sure if you got a job you applied for, mindfulness can help.

Transition planning

Moving into an apartment or group home, going to college, or starting a new job are all major life changes.

Many of my clients know that changes are especially hard for them. So they come to counseling for extra support as they prepare for their next big step.

With these clients, counseling involves planning practical, actionable ‘to-do’s. I also help my clients manage their anxiety about the change, so that it doesn’t keep them from succeeding.

Self-advocacy and communication skills

As you get older it can feel overwhelming to speak up or ask questions.

Sometimes, it may feel like you don’t know what to say, and so you don’t say anything at all. Then you regret it when things don’t go how you expected.

I help my clients discover the scripts and mindset that they need to advocate for themselves. They become more confident at work, with their doctors, and in relationships with friends and family members.

Personal health improvement.

Many people with disabilities struggle to get a good night’s sleep. Some find it challenging to maintain a healthy eating or exercise plan.

I provide my clients with education and information about the science of developing lasting habits.

I partner with them to make small but meaningful changes to their routines over time, so that they can achieve the health outcomes they desire.

 

If you’re an adult with an intellectual or developmental disability considering counseling, you may still have some questions

 

I have a hard time keeping eye contact, and sometimes I ramble. Will you judge me for that?

Many of my clients find it difficult to maintain eye contact. This is especially true for those with Autism spectrum disorders, and especially as we’re first getting to know each other.

I understand that this is part of who you are, and I’m not going to try to change you.

It takes a lot of guts to go to counseling. 

I will absolutely not make you feel like you’re doing something wrong if you don’t make eye contact.

As we get to know each other, I may sometimes direct you away from going on a conversational tangent. I do this so that you can get the most benefit from our time together.

I’m sensitive to light or sound, and I fidget a lot. I’m worried that something in your office will bother or distract me. What if counseling won’t work for me because of that? 

Again, many of my clients share these sensitivities and need to be active during sessions.

I want you to feel at home in my office.

Just let me know if you need me to adjust the lights or white noise machines. You’re welcome to take your shoes off and curl up under a blanket. You’re also free to stand up, move, and use your hands if you need to.

I have lots of fidgets for you to choose from, or you’re welcome to bring your own.

I think I might have Autism, but I’ve never had a formal diagnosis. Can I still meet with you?

Yes!

I work with many clients who have a growing suspicion that they are on the Autism spectrum. But they have never had a formal diagnosis or assessment to confirm this.

I will be happy to meet with you for counseling to address your challenges.

I will not be able to give you a formal diagnosis, as this requires evaluation by a Psychologist. If obtaining a formal diagnosis is important to you, I can refer you to a Psychologist for assessment.

I have a hard time getting to know new people. I just don’t think that I can talk to a new person for 45 whole minutes.

Lots of the adults with disabilities who I see for counseling feel this way.

I understand that it will take some time for you to trust me and feel comfortable spending a whole session talking with me.

Here are some of the ways that my clients have gotten through their initial discomfort:

• Starting with shorter sessions and building to longer sessions as they feel comfortable doing so
• Bringing along a parent, spouse, or a DSP to sit in on a portion of the session (if that’s your preference, it’s OK with me)
• Mix in-person and online meetings

Will you talk to my doctor or my family about me behind my back?

I take my clients’ right to confidentiality very seriously. I will never discuss your treatment with anyone else unless I have your written consent to do so (except in the case of an immediate safety risk).

If you are uncomfortable with me talking about your treatment with anyone else, I won’t do it. Simple as that.

What if I want my Doctor and other healthcare providers to know how things are going in counseling? Will you talk with them if I ask you to?

Many of the adults with disabilities who I see for counseling have a dedicated healthcare team.

I know how much our emotional and mental state affects our physical health. Because of this it can be helpful for me to collaborate with my clients’ healthcare providers. I regularly consult with physicians, OT, PT, SLP, Vocational Rehabilitation Counselors, Direct support providers, and other professionals who are providing complementary services.

I’m happy to consult with these professionals. I know that it helps my client get the most benefit from their counseling treatment.

How much is this going to cost? Will it be worth it?

Information about my rates is available here.

Counseling is an investment. It is paying a professional to help you deal with the struggles and challenges you face in this moment. But you can use the skills and coping strategies that you learn for the rest of your life.

It isn’t just about getting through what you’re facing now. It’s about being sure that you can face other difficult times in the future with resilience and hope.