If you’re a raising a child with a disability, you may have considered counseling in the past. You feel overwhelmed and alone, and not sure what’s best for your child. You’re starting to jump to the worst-case scenario when one thing goes wrong. You feel scared, sad, and isolated.

It would be wonder to have a compassionate and nonjudgmental person listening intently. Someone who is invested in helping you overcome your challenges. Someone who won’t tell you you’re wrong to feel the way you do. A knowledgeable person who will share strategies that might help you feel better when you’re ready to hear them. It also helps to know that this person will keep everything you discuss confidential.

So, what stops parents raising kids with disabilities from getting the help they need in therapy?

Usually, it’s fear that they won’t be able to uphold the commitment.

When I meet with special needs parents for counseling, they often describe feeling like they’re living from crisis to crisis. They never know what to expect from their child, because it feels like their strengths and needs are inconsistent.

Does this capture it for you:

You do everything you can to create backup plans. Being responsive without being reactive is your goal.

And yet, something inevitably comes up that derails your whole day. Your child’s strengths and needs seem inconsistent, and so you never know what to expect from them. You feel behind at work. Date night is synonymous with folding laundry, since you and your partner tag-team and don’t have the time or energy to do anything else together.

You join every Facebook group and read every article someone posts, but still feel like you’re not doing enough for your child.

If that sounds like you, you’re not alone. Many of my clients live in this constant state of feeling like they’re never enough. Because no matter how hard they try, something always goes wrong.

This is why I love offering online counseling to special needs parents. There are two themes that usually emerge when I’m counseling special needs parents.

• Accepting realities that you cannot change. Your child may never communicate with words, or they may always wear a diaper. They may have devastating seizures that aren’t manageable no matter what you try. There are often some tough things that parents must learn to accept.
• Creating routine and consistency where you can. I often help parents develop routines and strategies that remain predictable and consistent. Even when it feels like things are spinning out of your control. Online counseling is one way that I do that.

Keep reading for the top 10 reasons that special needs parents love online counseling. It goes WAY beyond not having to find a parking spot!

What is online counseling?

Just a quick note in case you’re unfamiliar with online counseling.

Any time you use a digital interface like video conferencing or text messaging to interact with a licensed mental health provider, you’re doing online therapy. The technical term for it is ‘Telemental health’.

As I practice it, my clients and I see each other in real time through a video chat link. The only difference between the program that a therapist will use and one like Skype is that our systems are encrypted, secure, and HIPAA compliant to ensure your confidentiality.

1. Bad weather happens

I live in central North Carolina, and our state all but shuts down if there’s even a remote chance of snow or hurricane. Parents love knowing that their therapy session will happen even if there’s bad weather.

Even if schools release kids at 12:30 PM because there’s a chance of flurries starting at 7 PM.

…Yes, that really does happen here!

2. Your child gets sick

It’s 4 AM and you hear the unmistakable sound of retching coming from your child’s bedroom. You visualize your next day’s schedule. You’re thinking of all the things you’ll have to reschedule because you’ll be home with a sick child.

With online therapy, your counseling session doesn’t have to be one of them. My clients can leave a sick kiddo watching the Price is Right while they meet with me from their bedroom.

3. Your child already attends lots of therapy

Many kids with Autism and other disabilities attend lots of therapies. Parents feel that they can’t afford to miss work or other commitments to attend an appointment for themselves.

Online therapy is a fantastic solution for these parents. They can meet with a counselor while their child is in their own therapy session.

I work with many parents who meet with me from the car in the parking lot. Or some take a walk around their child’s therapist’s office building during our sessions.

My clients say they love knowing that they’re using the time wisely to meet their own needs. As one client put it “it’s way better than spending an hour zoning out on my phone or reading two-year-old magazines in the waiting room.”

4. You can’t get away from work

A lot of my clients appreciate online therapy on those days that they just can’t get away from the office. Getting their car, driving, and parking all add to the time they’d need to be away to attend a counseling session.

But with online therapy, my clients can just shut the door to the office and squeeze in a therapy session during their lunch break.

5. You’re traveling

Disruption of routine because of travel is never easy. Whether you’re traveling for work or a family vacation, travel can cause anxiety.

Maybe it’s because you’ve left your partner at home to run the house and manage the kids. Or maybe it’s because you’re taking a family vacation, and you’re worried about how your child will do with the change in the routine.

Of course, it depends on where you’re traveling to, and what the laws around online therapy are in that place (your therapist will help you sort this out).

But often, you can continue to meet with your therapist even when you are out of town. My clients love knowing that it’s one less thing that they’ll have to reschedule because of their travel. They also often appreciate getting the extra support when they’re out of town.

6. You need some extra support before a tough interaction

Sometimes, you just know when a meeting is going to be tough.

Maybe it’s an IEP meeting where you know you’re going to have to fight to get the services your child needs. Or perhaps you’re dreading a med change discussion with your child’s psychiatrist.

Sometimes parents want extra support before an interaction that they’re anxious about.

Online therapy is a fantastic choice for these times. It gives parents the boost they need before going into one of ‘those’ meetings. You know the ones. The kind that you prep for by saying “I will not cry, I will not cry.”

7. You live in a remote area

I practice in Cary, North Carolina, which is a suburb of the capital city of Raleigh.

But many of my clients live in small, rural towns in North Carolina. Places like Hendersonville, Wilkesboro, and Mount Airy.

That last one is the town that Andy Griffith grew up in that inspired Mayberry, in case you’re not sure just how rural we’re talking.

Online therapy allows parents who live in isolated areas to connect with specialists that they wouldn’t have access to in person.

8. Your child is in the hospital

Many kids with disabilities experience medical complications. Parents know that this can mean:

• Unexpected hospital stays
• Cross country travel for specialist treatment
• Inpatient stays for intensive therapies

These inpatient stays can feel hugely disruptive. My online counseling clients can keep their regularly scheduled appointment even though they must stay at the hospital with their child. They also appreciate that they can schedule additional appointments as needed if their child is in the hospital and things get rough.

9. You and your partner both want to come to therapy

I sometimes work with couples who are raising kids with disabilities. Trying to coordinate schedules and travel for two people can be especially tricky. Online therapy allows me to offer joint sessions with both parents without them having to travel or find childcare.

10. You have your own medical needs or disability

Many of my clients who are special needs parents have their own disabilities or medical conditions.

Some of my clients raising kids with Autism are themselves Autistic. They may find it easier to make a connection with a therapist through a digital interface.

I also work with many parents who have chronic health conditions. They often don’t know how they’ll feel day to day. These clients love knowing that they can shoot me an email just before their session to request that we switch to an online meeting if it’s a ‘bad health ‘ day.

I really love offering online therapy, because I want to make it as easy as possible for special needs parents to access counseling.

Please use the social share buttons to spread the word about the benefits of online counseling for special needs parents.

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